1) You are a great parent!!!! You are trying to help your child! YEAH!!!

2) You are not alone. There are other families and this website is going to help you connect with them.

3) Listen to your gut even though you are not sure if you have any instincts you trust left in you. YOU DO AND YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO YOUR GUT.

4) You know your child best. Your therapists, doctors, teachers and 1,000 other professionals did not push this kid into the world . . .YOU DID! They do not live with you, go home with you, etc. They have no genetic link to you. They see your child for 5 min. out of their lives to 2 hours per week. They do not sleep, eat and breathe your kid . . . you do. You know your child BEST.

5) You are the team leader. You are the final decision maker on what types of therapy to persue, how often, how much financially you can do and you are the expert on your child. Ask as many questions as you need to to make the best decision for your family. You should never feel pressured to make a decision that just doesn't feel right to you. If you don't feel that progess is being made in a certain area then you have every right to ask questions and stop that therapy.

6) Make decisions that are best for your ENTIRE FAMILY not just one member. This includes the parents. As chaffeuers, home therapists, advocates, educators, accountants, researchers, nurses, cheerleaders, lovers and all the other titles you wear-- consider your needs in the decision making process. You must take care of yourself.

7) It is ok to say: This is HARD. I'm overwhelmed. I'm not sure if I can get out of bed today. I need HELP! I feel alone. Do I really have to read all these books? I don't have time for all this. I can't do it. I don't understand what my therapist is talking about? Can you explain that in plain simple language?  What does regulated mean anyway? What the heck is a vestibular system? Can't you just fix my child? When are things going to be normal again? What is a paraprofessional? I don't want to quit my job. I didn't sign up for this. When am I supposed to sleep? I'm going to kill the insurance company. How much $$$ did you say that is going to cost?

8) You should get someone to help you at home (cleaning lady, babysitter, paraprofessional, family). You don't have to do it all and you can't do it all ,well. Yes, the cleaning lady should be considered part of therapy and she helps keep the floors clean so we can do Floortime in some type of sanitary conditions.

9) WALK OUT IF THERE IS NO LOVE. If you walk into a therapist's office, school, doctor or other professional and you don't feel love, compassion and understanding radiating from the staff then you need to turn yourself and child around, walk out the door and don't go back. LOVE + LEARNING = GROWTH.  I don't care what kind of degree they have or how highly they come recommended. If the professional is not supportive of you (the parent) and your family then you MUST  find a new professional. You are on a journey together. The therapist and family must work together for true success.

10) Dr. Greenspan needs to rewrite his signature phrase "Follow the child's lead" to FOLLOW THE CHILD'S INTENT. All of our therapist keep telling us this in hushed voices. What this means is that when your child's INTENT is to eat a cookie right at 5pm (as she climbs up on to your countertop or throws herself a tantrum while you are cooking over a hot stove or deciding what to order in for dinner because you are too exhausted to cook) you do not have to give the child the cookie. You can understand her intent is to get that cookie and help her communicate that she wants that cookie. You can say "I know you really want something. hmmmm . . . What do you want?" I know you really want that cookie, but what do we have to do before we can have a cookie? Eat dinner."